Visual Instincts

I’ve been thinking alot about that last session with my counsellor, which we devoted to activity I described in An Hour In The Sandpit With The Sins Of Mephisto. Talking about ones thoughts and feelings, and analysing them with yet more verbiage, is well and good, but sometimes it’s good to participate in an activity that frees you from the labour of talking. It’s good to do what kids have always do, and that is play. It’s good to escape the bandage that is thinking, and do what do kids have always known to be good and FUN! That is play.

This session was a culmination of six weeks work, and rather than write a detailed analysis of the session, I decided to describe the landscape, the meanings behind the objects I have chosen, and the rationale behind their placement in the landscape. You can draw your own conclusions from the.

The Landscape: Light [Positive] and Dark [Negative] Zones

I’ve already described how the landscape has been created. I can’t remember the order in which I placed the objects, but once my counsellor pointed out the blue, and suggested that the blue could be water. Once he said that, it all fell into place. The bridge [I think] was the first object, or it have been the last [?], that I placed in the landscape, and defined for me the light and the dark. It’s pretty obvious which side is which, and as you can see from the image below, the dark side is quite crowded. Of course, the aim of any self-development exercise is to reduce the size of The Dark Zone, and expand The Light Zone.

The Landscape

The Light [Positive] Zone

• Old Man Fishing; A figure of contentment. At one with himself. Something I aspire to. A oneness and contentment within myself and my world. There is also the meaning behind the saying [or proverb] “teach a man how to fish, and he will always eat.” something like that. For me it’s meaning of can do. The confidence that comes with the knowledge that indeed, I can do!
• Laughing Buddha: The Laughing Buddha is seen as a deity of contentment and abundance. I have used the figure in my landscape, as someone whose attitude to life is, “It is what it is!” accompanied by good hearted humour. Of course, where I have placed him, subconsciously, in The Light Zone, his meaning is one of contentment and abundance became apparent.
• House: A long cherished dream of mine, to have my own house. My own space, of which I am the king. Which expresses who I am, and how I would like my world to be. It is my sanctuary. It is the place where I can be who i am, unfettered by the expectations of the outside world.
• Blue [Water - Lake/ Pond/ River] : The colour blue represents peace to me. My bedroom walls are painted with this shade of sky blue, and the carpet is a mosaic of blue, grey and white. This patch of blue is on contrast with the colour of the sand, which denotes heat, fire, dryness, and restlessness. Without this patch of blue, the landscape would be hell.
• Bridge: The bridge is the link between the two worlds. It is not encumbered in any way. I am free to move between either zones. But as you can see from the image above, the two little boys, who represent me, are facing towards the light. As my counsellor pointed out, these two figures are close to the bridge. He asked if this was intentional. I said no. But his comment, was a reminder that I am perhaps closer to my goal of oneness [to where I am going] than I have realised.

The Dark [Negative] Zone

• Little Boy [Holding teddy Bear and Towel] : This figure is me. The child within me that I have lost. As my counsellor pointed out, this figure is holding a teddy bear and a blanket, both which are symbols for security.
• Little Boy [Holding teddy Bear] : This figure too is me. Me as I am now. I am looking at the little boy with envy at his innocence, naivety, positiveness, trust and faith, all characteristics that I have lost or buried. The little boy represents what I want to be. What I want to reclaim: innocence, purity, trust and faith. Though older than the other one, and is holding only a teddy bear. One item of security. Which denotes a growing maturity and confidence? This boy is actually looking at the other little boy.
• Evil Wizard: represents dark forces, negative thoughts. He is fighting the Good Wizard. Both are looked in a duel for control of me, my thoughts, and my destiny.
• Good Wizard: represents the good forces, positive thoughts. That the Good Wizard is fighting with the Evil Wizard, is a symbol of my internal/ inner struggle
• Joker: represents distraction. Anything that distracts you [in this case me] from moving towards, achieving your goals, or taking positive action.
• Clown: A fun and effervescent personality that detracts from the real personality. A facade.
• Ghost: memories. That the ghost is so close to the first small boy. The ghost is the inner critic. That nagging voice that is always telling you what you should do, or telling you what you should not do. Its role is to instill a fear. A fear that will paralyse you into inaction. A fear of taking a positive action. The ghost is also the memories of bad experiences past.
• Skeleton: death. This is a nod to the fact that I am getting on. While it is on the far reaches of the landscape, it’s presence is notice that time is indeed running out for me. A realisation that hit me in mid 2008. Remembering the death of a friend who took her own life, really knocked me about for a while. Unlike many, I do not view suicide, or self euthanasia, as a cowardly or selfish act. For me, my friends death was the ultimate act of empowerment. A conscious and courageous decision not made lightly. This contrasted greatly with my own sense of impotence.
• Vampire Teeth: a prurient interest. Subversion. A lurking intelligence not fully utilised or realised. Like vampires and other creatures, my intelligence only comes out at night. Though, I prefer the sun, the silvery light of a full moon would do just fine.

The size of the The Light Zone is small in comparison to The Dark Zone, which denotes my current preoccupation with negativity [like most of us]. But the power of the light is strong indeed, and it is one that I want to move towards. Half way through the exercise, I was directed to alter the landscape. To make any changes that I saw fit to make. If I was happy with what I originally created I could leave it as it is. I decided to make some changes, small but rather telling [profund].

Altered LandScape

The little boy crossed the bridge to The Light Zone . The older boy has moved to the foot of the bridge, about to cross over. The Laughing Buddha was moved to The Dark Zone. I deliberately placed him between the older boy and the dark forces, pushing them back. The Laughing Buddha now standing between the older boy, about to cross over, retains the same message, “Life Is what it is,” but now the message is directed at the dark forces. In effect saying, “Leave the boy be.” More to the point, that they too, can’t have everything they want.

The following pix, which I nicked from my friend Alison Bryan, reminded me of the Sandpit exercise. She called it Scribble, but I call it, The Light.

The Light

How close I was to the light, but summat was in my way. Looking at it now, it’s more of my vision becoming clearer and finally, I am amble to see the light [where I am going to]. However, so near, yet so far. And as she says, “Part of that is about how much distraction people will put up in their lives, away from what is really important. A statement, perhaps much of treadmill existence feels utterly meaningless, and thus difficult to latch onto. The other part, is around a mass of thoughts. Our minds rarely quieten, jumping from one thing to the next (and that means everyone).”

While I was writing this, I decided to google Sandpit Play, and the results turned up information about Sandplay Therapy. A quick read revealed that this is the same as the workshop I did. If you are interested in Sandplay Therapy, I have provided some links below.

Related Links:

An Hour In The Sandpit With The Sins Of Mephisto

Recommended Reading & Websites:

Sandplay Therapy

Sandplay Therapy [About]

Sandplay Therapy [Supporting The Emergence Of Self]

Sandplay Therapy [Australian]

Sandplay Therapy [Google Books]

Sandplay Therapy: Inside Out Counselling Service

Zen Guitar [Book]

Zen Guitar [Website]

Owning Your Own Shadow [Book]

Owning Your Own Shadow [Website]

Mandorla

The Road Less Travelled

The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying

The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying [Website]

The Tibetan Book Of Living An Dying [Wikipedia]

This has been crossposted at i.Mephisto.