Visual Instincts

At the end of my previous post, The Crossroads, I mentioned that I am currently working on a story about a Deaf boy who wants to be a rock star. There is only one way he is going to become a rock star, and that is by becoming hearing. For those who must know, yes, it is about me. Whilst I have no intention of writing an autobiography, my story is biographical in that it reflects my “hopes, fears, dreams and desires”. Just so that you know, my life hasn’t been all that exciting, and neither have I made a Faustian Bargain [that I would ever tell you about].

The character whom I based on myself is Joshua. A Deaf boy who was born hearing, and became deafened at the age of 5. He has always had some useful hearing, which has stood him in good stead over the years when communicating with hearing people, getting an education, and by and large, having some fun. Like me, Joshua loves music. He has buried himself in the sounds, images, culture and history of popular music. He locks himself way in his room, turning up the volume and miming. With a broom for a microphone and a tennis racquet for a guitar.

In him, I have embodied the conflict of deaf and hearing. Joshua, a Deaf boy, living in a hearing world, and wanting to be a rock star. This causes an internal [emotional] split, which creates havoc with his sense of belonging and who he is. As Joshua matures, and comes to accept his Deafness, and reconciles these opposing forces, that shadow of doubt remains. A true reflection of my outlook today. The big question [for Joshua and I,] is whether this dichotomy will ever [or can ever] be truly resolved.

I have been wanting to write this story for a long time. I could not decide on a format, so I have set myself the Herculean task of doing four: a novel, a musical, a rock opera and a screen play; and I am hoping through the writing process, I will be able to settle on the format that will allow the story to come to life. Then again, I can see the potential of each format hosting a different interpretation of the same story, and it might just be more fun different viewpoints of the same story.

In the process, I aim to give lie to David Lodges’ assertion that:

However, deafness restricts and thins out the supply of new ideas and experience on which the novelist depends to create his fictions. Living under a deaf sentence

There is such a dearth of positive images and portrayals of Deaf people in the media, whenever someone creates a project with a Deaf character, creates a Deaf character, they encounter all sorts of problems. Least of all, it questions your loyalty to your community or your loyalty to yourself. So in a sense, my portrayal of a deaf boy who wants to become hearing, is itself something of a Faustian Bargain, with Mephistopheles sitting on my left shoulder, chattering away about movie deals, opening nights, CD and DVD releases, and blah, blah, blah.

Research [if you can call it that,] is ongoing, but the struggle is in the writing. The story unfolds quite vividly in my mind, but in the transference to the page [computer screen], it is encountering extreme resistance. In order to do the story justice, my responsibility as the writer, is to treat the theme with honesty, and not pander to popular stereotype, or communal expectations of what and who the deaf character is. How it translates to the stage or the screen, in terms of acting roles, is another issue, but the point remains. To do the story justice. And only by doing the story justice, will we see a break in stereotype, and more truthful portrayals of Deaf [and deaf] people.

Meanwhile, the writing process, is a form of therapy [for me], and many issues that have lain dormant or not dealt with, are inserting themselves in between my mind and the page [computer screen]. Also, too many philosophical discussions about life, love and death with my hearing mate in the mountains, accompanied by a few bottles of wine don’t help.

But, I have found the protagonists [Joshua's] voice, and appropriately enough, it will start on the night of his [that is, my] death!

Reading:

The Crossroads [The Devils Playground]
Dualism
Zen Guitar [The Book]
The Zen Guitar Dojo
The Blue Mountains [For When You Visit Australia]
Whose Story is It Anyway?
The Tree Of Knowledge
The Tree Of Life, The Fruit Of Knowledge, Of Good & Evil
The Idol-Maker: David Lodge – Deaf Sentence
Robert Johnson And The Crossroads Curse
Deal With The Devil
Mandala
Aureola/Mandorla
The Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow [Read Online]
The Road Less Travelled
The Road Not Taken
M. Scott Peck
Robert A. Johnson [Spirit Site]
Robert A. Johnson

What would you be prepared to do, to satisfy a desire for knowledge, power, status or change in life circumstances? What would you be prepared to trade off to achieve this knowledge, power, status or change in life circumstances? Decision making is not always a simple task of “either, or”, but a series of trade-offs where neither option is perfect.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Such is the journey to The Crossroads, and such are the choices that we, Deaf and deaf people face constantly in our efforts to carve out a meaningful life. The sacrifices, and the trade-offs we make. Some of which are in our power, and some without our control, to ensure that the choices we make, are meaningful ones. This is the nature of the Faustian Bargain, where the choices Mephistopheles presents us with, are “either, or”.

Even though I’ve never read Faust, or any of the other Faustian legends, the theme is ever present in the lyrics and the sounds of the music I listen to. When singers and musicians harness the polar opposites of positive and negative, the propel the music towards meanings at odds with its surface presence. This can be evidenced in the blues, where lyrically, the mood is often one of despondency and despair, yet the music is upbeat, playful, joyful, and downright lusty, as to impart the message of survival, inspite of the circumstances.

Grandpa’s Song [Watch the video on Youtube], by Vika and Linda, is a secular song, with a spiritual bent.

Grandpa’s Song

You were standing there, years ago
Waiting so patiently, to take me home
And as you held out your hand, I’ll never forget
I walked right by you, this day I regret

I had fire in my heart and you knew it
I was like you, so much like you

As I marched along, five paces ahead
You had a smile for me, I still can’t forget
Still I wanted to walk, on my own
You were there to protect me, on my way home

Time has gone, and it’s taken you with it
I miss you so, this much I know

Now I look back, on all that I’ve done
I hope you’ve forgiven me, see I was so young
I have grown, I now walk alone
I feel you beside me, still guiding me home

I had fire in my heart, and you knew it
I was like you, I was so much like you

Time has gone, and taken you with it
I miss you so, this much I know
I miss you so, now that I know

It was written by Vika as an apology to her Grandfather for her
behaviour when she was younger and her shame of her cultural heritage.
A story I know, and identify with. Yet, it works brilliantly as a metaphor for
the relationship between human beings and their maker [God]. Or simply
a metaphor for human pride, borne out of ignorance, and pitted against
greater forces beyond their understanding [and control], and ultimate
concession [or submission to humility].

The killer lines in Grandpa’s Song, are neither lyrical or melodious, but the ebb and flow of Maori
Choir that swells up after the instrumentals break. This represents a
moment of epiphany, and the sound of the choir that ever so gently, tugs the singer [and listener] towards a state of humility [the greater good]. This never fails to raise
goose bumps, and a rush to the head, in me. There have been moments
when I was nearly given to tears.

The song itself is easy to translate into sign language, and would make for a great signed song. The point for me, though, is how to translate the sounds of the choir, illustrate that ebb and flow, and its gentleness, without whom the song would lose a lot of its intensity. [For me, anyway!]

There is one other song, by Vika and Linda, itself a killer tune, which also works on both the secular and spiritual levels. These Hands, which I will leave you to deduct its meaning, but suffice to say, I interpret it is a call to arms for Deaf Pride, is imbued with many of the elements that make Grandpa’s Song so powerful: pride, humility, knowledge, understanding and esteem.

These Hands

The breeze blows gentle
The trees all sway, as if to wave
I picked up my suitcase
To pack up my dreams and leave, and sail away
On an endless ocean
With a sinking heart, I was torn apart
When a voice came drifting, warm and rise
Something lifting me up to the sky
These hands that hold me, are good and strong
I’ll be on my feet before too long
My life’s not over, why should it be?
These hands that hold me
They told me to hold on
Along the journey, I’ll need hands to hold on
My mind still wanders
Along the long white beach, that washed my feet
And the silver water
Under the island moon, I can almost reach
This endless ocean
So cold and deep, and I’m trying to sleep
Then a voice comes drifting, warm and wise
Something lifting me up, to the sky

Actions are not without their consequences, a these two songs [and I'm sure you, my dear readers, can come up with examples of your own] illustrate. The pertinent lesson is that decisions we make, are not always clear cut. The
devil in the detail, being the shades of grey, the area of ambiguity
that exists between these polar forces.

In artistic terms though, these songs detail the tensions that exit between the polar forces of positive and negative [good and evil, yin and yang, black and white, being and non being, et al]. Which provides a rich mine of ideas for stories and images, with which you can enhance the story with ambiguity, irony, ecstasy, and enlightenment.

In a mainstream culture that worships the Faustian Bargain, the Crossroads, the Polar forces, continue to fascinate me, and are the source for the story that I am currently working on. A story about a Deaf boy who wants to become a rock and roll star. [As my friend Liam said to me, "It's about you!" - that is me.]

Reading:

Robert Johnson And The Crossroads Curse
Deal With The Devil
Mandala
Aureola/Mandorla
The Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow
Owning Your Own Shadow [Read Online]
The Road Less Travelled
The Road Not Taken
M. Scott Peck
Robert A. Johnson [Spirit Site]
Robert A. Johnson

The notion that “…..deafness restricts and thins out the supply of new ideas and experience on which the novelist depends to create his fictions…….” is still spinning me out. I’ve read and heard many ignorant [willfully and otherwise] things about deafness in my time, but this one really rankles, in that it encapsulates what hearies really believe to be the defining point of deafness: it’s limitation. A definition that is derived from outside observation, which becomes internalised, and it crystallises into a homem do saco when a hearing person starts to lose their hearing.

The angst that a person feels, when being disconnected from a familiar world is very real. It is made all the more worrying, because our culture which relies heavily on the aural sense, buttressed by the visual sense, does not know how to deal with this loss. It can only guess. So much is invested in the act of hearing, and because it does not have the knowledge of what it’s like not to hear, it can only assume that not being able to hear is restrictive.

More than that, it refuses to re-interpret it as anything but a loss. Our aurally inclined culture is deaf, to the idea that maybe, hearing, is not the be all and end all of human existence. It is deaf to the idea that maybe, not hearing, It is deaf to the idea that there is a positiveness to being deaf. This deafness is rooted in the refusal of hearing to engage with its polar opposite, deafness, as its equal.

And Deafness its equal. Deafness is the equal of hearing.

Of course, people are ready to argue otherwise. And that’s because so few have ever ventured to that other side, their knowledge of deafness is lacking. They cannot offer a plausible counterargument for why it is a negative state of being, other than a series of value judgements based on a subjective experience, and the world/ culture constructed around the aural sense is the only one many know.

Hearing and Deafness. Polar opposites. One the equal of the other. Neither is better than the other. Each poses its own unique characteristics, which influences the perspectives, experiences and opportunities that arise. Which in turn will influence how each side views and interacts with the world.

The problem does not lie with the lack of knowledge about deafness. A problem that is compounded by the subjective view of being hearing. The problem lies in the barrier that this subjectiveness creates, against, not only a positive state of deafness, but also against the possibility of any positive interaction between the two sides, as equals.

This schism exists because of fear, amongst other reasons.

But deafness exists. There are deaf people to prove it. Deafness can be, is, a positive state of being. There are happy Deaf people to prove it. The very existence of these happy Deaf people, gives lie to the idea that not hearing, is a negative state of being.

For an writer [or artist] like David Lodge, the journey from hearing to deafness, presents an opportunity to acquire new knowledge. Deafness is a new experience, and hence will present him with new knowledge. This new knowledge is not the same as the knowledge he gleaned from being hearing. It wouldn’t be, nor should it be.

It is ingrained in us, that we seek normality. But life constantly rebutts and constantly changes that normality, to which human beings cling to, ever tighter, because of fear. It is this, as part of the metamorphosis, that David is undergoing, that he is experiencing.

He seems to have recognised this in part, which resulted in his latest work, Deaf Sentence. But whether he grows, and moves beyond the negativity he is currently experiencing, remains to be seen. But it does represent an opportunity. His artistry will be tested, and may be found wanting should he choose to rail against the idea of a positive state of deafness. The choice is his to make, as a person and as an writer.

Understanding that Hearing and Deafness are polar opposites. Acceptance that both are the equal of the other. Appreciation of each sides unique characteristics. And the [schism] the interactive possibilities of the two sides, makes for a rather fertile breeding ground, out of which a new store of knowledge can grow.

That’s Entertainment:

The Tree Of Knowledge
The Idol-Maker: David Lodge – Deaf Sentence
David Lodge: Deaf Sentence

For someone who has lived with deafness all my life, I found myself in two frames of mind when I was writing The Idol-Maker: David Lodge – Deaf Sentence, [originally for All The Young Dudes]. I was, still am, in agreement with David Lodge’s descriptions of his deafness and the shenanigans resulting from misunderstandings, not hearing certain sounds, and communication breakdowns. However, upon reading The following pronouncement:

However, deafness restricts and thins out the supply of new ideas and experience on which the novelist depends to create his fictions. That former nun’s life story might have been priceless “material” and I regret its loss. I miss opportunities to eavesdrop on humanly revealing conversations on buses and in shops and to keep up with new idioms, coinages and catch-phrases that give flavour and authenticity to dialogue in a novel of contemporary life. Living under a deaf sentence

my eyes turned bloodshot, and I began to metamorphose into a raging fiend. All I needed was a full moon and the transformation would have been complete.

I have grown up with deafness, and I can refute this statement. As an artist, who has grown up with deafness, I can refute this statement. Indeed, there are many more Deaf artists, who can also refute this statement.

David Lodge is a well regarded writer, critic and Emeritus Professor of English Literature at the University of Birmingham, England. My difficulty lies with the fact that the man is experienced, talented, well read and erudite, and for all his worldly knowledge and experience, his observations are very much informed by the Hearing view of deafness. The Medical Model. The Disability Model. An unyielding, hegemonic, view that emphasises the lack of, and does not see any other possibility of being, or any other experience that is the equal of Hearing.

David’s deafness is a personal experience [as it is for the rest of us] and his journey is a personal one [as it is for the rest of us]. Where some people seek counselling, and others remain stoic in the face of adversity, David has chosen to explore his experience via the medium of writing [literature].

This I can understand, because one of the reasons I blog/ write, is to explore ideas, situations, and scenarios, in a private space that is unseen by outsiders, lest what I have chosen to reveal. More than an act of expression, more than an act of creation, more than an act of communication, and more than an addition to the cultural oeuvre, writing [or indeed, the act of creation], allows us, the author [artist], to understand ourselves, our world and other people better. Even come to terms with things or events beyond our control. For some of us, it is simply therapy. Vent, vent, rage and vent!

The question then is, what is the source material for an artist’s work? The source and the inspiration are varied. For many, we, ourselves, are our source. We choose our own lives, background, interests, culture, et al, as our source material. And to this end, deafness, is ripe for artistic treatment. To this end, I’m not exactly a fan of “the becoming deaf rites of passage” story. They do serve their purpose, I don’t disagree. But as a Deaf person, I crave for more, which is why I am extremely ambivalent about purchasing a copy of Deaf Sentence, thought I may cave in at some point.

For David, the exploration of his deafness, in his new book, Deaf Sentence, would be a natural progression of his work as a writer. For fans of his books, and especially those who follow his work assiduously, the subject would be interesting, regardless of which model or view of deafness prevails. Or whether the subject has been done justice. The interest is in the artist’s next book, song, record, sculpture, painting, photograph, blog post, et al.

Unfortunately, David does the craft of writing, and the act of creation a great disservice when he opines that:

“……deafness restricts and thins out the supply of new ideas and experience on which the novelist depends to create his fictions.”

If anything, life would have taught him to every ying, there is a yang, and to every yang, there is a ying. The statement betrays an ignorance that is quite breathtaking, but not unusual for hearing people to make. To be fair, unless you have experienced deafness, indeed, Deafness, how can you know otherwise.

I was there too, once! I like where I am now, better!

While deafness, does cut us off from the hearing world, or more accurately, the aural world, it does not, as David seems to believe, restrict or thins out the supply of new ideas. Far from it. The source of material, and inspiration for works, are only as limited as the limits the artist themselves impose. Yes, an artist’s chosen material presents problems and issues they must grapple with, in order to create a work that can be enjoyed, but that is different to the idea that deafness restricts and thins out the supply of ideas.

What deafness does is, it proposes a re-orientation of the world as described by hearing people. It provides insights unseen by the hearing. It provides experiences hitherto accessible. It debunks the long held belief of calamity and sorrow that befalls those who lose their hearing. And it lays down a challenge to the hegemony of one sense [hearing] over the other four [sight, touch, smell, and taste]. Pertinent, deafness [indeed, becoming deaf] presents new knowledge. From this new knowledge, comes new ideas, and new material, and new works.

David becoming deaf, does not detract from his life as a hearing person. The knowledge and experience that he has accumulated over the course of his life, is not rendered meaningless by his deafness. As I have said in the previous paragraph, his deafness presents him with new knowledge and new experiences. Indeed, new challenges, both as an artist and as a person.

And that is the challenge for David the writer [artist], and the person. Once he has expressed the angst the sea change that deafness engenders, will he remain within the medical/ disability model? Will his explorations lead him down paths hitherto untravelled? Will he come to a better understanding of deafness? Will he come to view the hearing world differently? Will he come to see alternatives other than technology for deafness? Will he come to see deafness as a viable state of being? Or will he and his artistry, languish in the echoes of a time long gone?

Further Reading:

The Idol-Maker: David Lodge – Deaf Sentence
David Lodge: Deaf Sentence